


The Hug Puppy

by Rakshi



Category: Lord of the Rings RPF
Genre: Early Work, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2002-05-15
Updated: 2002-05-15
Packaged: 2017-10-26 18:31:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,281
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/286551
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rakshi/pseuds/Rakshi





	The Hug Puppy

Elijah was pawing through Sean's closet. He was cold and wanted a sweater, and Sean had said he could take any one he wanted. It was, Elijah thought, a rather fun thing to do. He could come up with memories to associate with a lot of these sweaters, many of them connected with New Zealand and the magical time they shared there.

He reached toward the back of the closet, shoving hangers aside to look. Suddenly he spotted something and his breath caught in his throat. He pulled the sweater out and stroked it gently. A smile spread across his face and he pulled the sweater over his head.

It was soft and rather fuzzy. Not very new. Not very spiffy. It was kind of brown on the bottom and arms and blue on top with (what looked to Elijah like) Native American symbols on the blue part. He adored this sweater beyond anything else Sean had ever worn. Except for his tux. Elijah smiled: “God, he does look great in that tux!”

He wandered downstairs, wondering if Sean would remember the last time he'd worn this sweater, the last time as far as Elijah knew anyway.

Sean glanced up from the book he was reading and burst out laughing! "Oh my god!" he said, getting up to look at what Elijah had on. "Where the hell did you find THAT?!"

"At the very back of the closet." Elijah said rather sadly. "Why did you shove it back there?"

Sean reached out to touch his hair. "Probably because seeing it made me too lonely for you so it just got assigned to that spot."

Elijah stroked the sweater gently. "God." he said softly, "God, I love this sweater."

Sean smiled at him. "Well, you can HAVE it. How's that?"

"No!" Elijah said. "It's only lovable if it's YOURS. It's lovable BECAUSE it's yours." He looked up at Sean. "I know that makes no sense."

Sean smiled at him. "Makes perfect sense. Come sit on the couch with me." He took Elijah's hand and pulled him over to the couch.

Elijah sat cross-legged beside Sean. He kept looking down at the sweater, stroking it. "You need my baseball cap." Sean said softly.

Elijah lowered his head for a moment, then peeked back up at Sean to see if he was still looking. He was. Elijah shook his head and lowered his eyes, as if shy or embarrassed, and Sean laughed out loud.

"You," Sean said, pulling Elijah into his arms, "are so totally adorable."

"Isn't that what I told YOU that night?" Elijah murmured.

"Matter of fact," Sean said, kissing his cheek. "I think it was."

"We going to watch a movie?" Elijah asked him.

"Yep." Sean said, getting up to throw one into the DVD player.

When Sean returned to the couch he lay down on their piled up pillows and Elijah snuggled next to him, lying back against his chest so they were spooned together. This was Elijah's favorite way to watch TV. He got great backrubs, great snuggles, great things whispered in his ear, and occasionally kisses and hot breath on the back of his neck that were so incredibly passionate that the movie was completely forgotten. Elijah didn't see how life could get much better than that.

He snuggled back against Sean, feeling cozy and warm and hugged twice. Once by Sean, who was probably the best hugger in the world. And once by Sean's sweater, which was pretty snuggly all on its own.

He thought back to the last time that he'd seen this sweater. The last time he'd seen Sean wear it.

 _Remembering . . ._

They were in New Zealand. They'd been doing interviews for FOX'S 'Quest for the Ring' special. The cameras had been in the room with them that morning when they did their feet, and had talked with both of them later on about the movie and their roles. It was fun, and Elijah loved being able to say nice things about he and Sean. He had also been standing just off-camera during Sean’s interview, and nearly melted when he heard Sean tell the world how much Sam loved Frodo.

That wasn't what made the day special though. The day became special very early in the morning when Sean showed up wearing his brown and blue fuzzy sweater, his baseball cap, and then topped it off by flashing Elijah the sweetest smile that ever existed. Elijah had fallen totally, completely, out-of-his-mind in love. To Elijah, he was the most amazingly beautiful sight on Earth.

He really didn't need the sweater and cap to be in love with Sean, and the smile had always been sweet. He'd been in love with Sean since the first day he met him. But the level of adorable-ness Sean achieved in that particular outfit just put Elijah over the top.

 

The Hug Puppy

He had actually hated it when Sean had to go get 'suited up' in his Sam outfit and, for Elijah, this was extraordinary. Usually Elijah adored Sean as his Samwise. Couldn't get enough of him. Begged Sean to keep his Sam outfit on even after shooting was over with just to 'be with' Sam. But not today. Today Elijah would have given anything to keep Sean out of Sam's clothes and IN the brown and blue sweater and baseball cap. Or, as Elijah came to think of it: 'The Hug-Puppy Outfit’.

When shooting ended for the day Elijah followed Sean to the tent to get their feet, wig, and ears removed. Then they went to their trailer to change. They'd either return their costumes later or someone would come and pick them up. Elijah pulled his off and dressed quickly. Then he turned to watch Sean.

He grinned happily as he watched Sean pull the sweater over his head. He already had on a pair of tan pants. Then came the baseball cap. And there he was: The Hug Puppy.

Elijah immediately tried to think of ways to engage Sean in conversation so he wouldn't go home. "Want to go have a coffee with me?" he asked, pulling gently on Sean's arm? Sean smiled down on him, and Elijah's whole body melted.

"Well," he said, "I was told that the guys were meeting over in the main room to gab for a bit and drink a couple beers. Thought I'd go over there for awhile. You're going too, aren't you?"

Elijah nodded. He'd do anything that Sean wanted him to do. Anything that kept him near for a little while longer. Sean must have seen that there was something eating at Elijah. He looked at him closely and put his arm around Elijah's shoulder.

"Hey." He said softly. 'You OK? You act as though something's bothering you."

Elijah couldn't respond. Couldn't breathe. He looked up at Sean with a combination of adoration and anguish and shook his head.

Sean half-frowned at him, chewing his lip. "You and I are going to talk about this." He said. "I have to go talk to Peter about my schedule. Why don't you go on over with the guys and I'll meet you there in a few minutes."

Elijah trudged over to the main house. The whole fellowship was there, but he really didn't feel in the mood for drinking and carousing. He felt weepy and love sick over Sean and foolish as hell about it.

They'd had one night together. One night when Sean declared his love and allowed Elijah to do the same. One night when they were truly lovers. But Elijah knew that Sean was trying to keep his marriage intact and he tried to respect Sean's wishes and not ask for what he was afraid to give. Sean was never anything less than loving. But was wary of getting too close to Elijah, and Elijah found this very hard to bear.

He smiled and waved at his friends, but headed straight out the back door and sat on the deck outside, looking up at the New Zealand stars. Orli followed him out and leaned over him, a worried look on his handsome face.

"What's wrong, Lij?"

"Oh, nothing." Elijah said, shrugging. "Just tired and a bit undone I guess."

"Is Sean stopping in?" Orli asked him.

"I guess so." Elijah said. "I'll be in soon. Just want some air."

Orli took the hint and went inside, but he didn’t like it. Elijah looked ready to cry, and Orlando was still worried about him. He hailed Sean as soon as he saw him come in.

"Hey." He said. "What's up with the ring bearer?"

"Why? Where is he?" Sean asked, immediately anxious.

"Outside in the cold." Orli told him. "Practically crying. Won't come in and won't tell me what's wrong."

Sean moved toward the door, then stopped. "Give me your coat." He said to Orlando, who surrendered it at once.

It WAS cold outside! Sean could see his breath in the air. His sweater kept him fairly warm, but he knew that Elijah was only wearing that thin blue shirt. He had to be freezing! Sean looked around, trying to spot him, and finally did. Sitting on the deck a short distance away, curled into a small, blue ball.

He sprinted over and lowered himself to the deck beside Elijah. “Here.” He said, holding Orlando’s coat out to him. “Put this on.”

“No.” Elijah said stubbornly. “I’m fine.”

“Put it on!” Sean insisted. “It’s fucking COLD out here and you’re shivering already!”

“No.” Elijah said, pushing Sean’s hand and the coat away.

“PUT IT FUCKING ON!” He shouted. “Put it on! Put it on! Put . . . it . . . ON! And, yes, I’m going to keep yelling until you fucking PUT . . . IT . . . ON!”

“Jesus!” Elijah yelped. “Shut the fuck UP! You’ll have the whole fucking fellowship out here!” He snatched the coat away from Sean, jammed his arms into it, and turned to him, arms outstretched. “Happy now?”

Sean sighed. “Why such a battle? I just don’t want you to freeze!”

Elijah shrugged.

“But, yeah.” Sean said, grabbing him and zipping the coat’s zipper up while Elijah rolled his eyes. “I’m happier now. Not entirely happy. But . . . yeah. HappiER. Yeah.”

Elijah lowered his chin to rest on his drawn up knees. Sean couldn’t see his face and he found this disconcerting. He wanted to gauge Elijah’s mood and seeing his eyes helped. He grasped Elijah’s shoulders and turned him until they were face to face. “That’s better.” Sean thought. But Elijah’s face was still lowered and Sean still couldn’t see his eyes.

He leaned toward Elijah and tried to tip his face up, but Elijah resisted him, turning away and lowering his eyes again. Having Sean this near him, especially in that ‘Hug-Puppy’ outfit, was driving Elijah insane. He yearned to put his arms around Sean and bury his face in that warm, fuzzy sweater, but he didn’t dare. He was afraid Sean would be mad at him. He was afraid he’d cry in front of Sean and humiliate himself. He was afraid. Period.

“What’s wrong?” Sean asked him.

“Nothing.” Elijah said shortly. “Sean, go on in. I just want to sit here alone for awhile. I’ll come inside in a few minutes.”

“I’ll wait with you.” Sean said softly.

“No!” Elijah snapped. “Go inside!”

“I’m staying with you.” Sean said.

“GO INSIDE!” Elijah yelled. “Jesus! What do I have to do to get a little time alone??”

“You have to tell me what’s wrong.” Sean said reasonably. “Because I’m not leaving you until you do.”

Elijah glared at him but Sean smiled back as if they were having the most pleasant conversation in the world.

“Nice weather we’re having.” Sean said, teasing him. He gazed out across the grass toward the distant mountains. The moon fell on them softly, giving them an ethereal glow. The night seemed perfect; quiet and peaceful.

Elijah shot Sean a sideways glance. “I wish I COULD tell him what’s wrong with me.” Elijah thought sadly. Just thinking about it made his eyes burn with tears that he didn’t want Sean to see. “God! Why doesn’t he just go inside?” Elijah thought. The answer came in the next instant: “Because he loves you and won’t leave you when he thinks you’re hurting anymore than Sam would leave Frodo.”

Elijah bit his lip and pushed his face into his drawn up knees. He took a deep breath, a breath that trembled with emotion. Elijah knew Sean had heard it and he struggled for control.

Sean tried to turn Elijah toward him but he resisted. Frustrated, Sean leaned his head against Elijah’s arm and wrapped his arms around his drawn up body.

“Baby,” Sean whispered. “Please tell me what’s wrong.”

He heard Elijah’s breath catch in his throat and it nearly broke his heart. He knew this was dangerous. Knew he had no real defense against Elijah when he was like this. But he had to know. Had to try to do something to bring a smile back to the face he loved.

“Please, baby?” Sean begged him. “Let me make it better. Please, Elijah. If you tell me what’s bothering you, we’ll work it out together. I promise. I can’t bear to see you unhappy.”

Elijah half turned toward him. “You don’t want to know what’s wrong.” He told Sean in a soft voice. “Trust me.”

“No.” Sean replied. “You trust ME. I DO want to know.”

Elijah raised his head and looked at him. Looked deeply at him. Sean leaned back a bit, watching him, but still kept his hands on Elijah’s shoulders. To Elijah, Sean looked every bit as adorable as he had all day long. Everything he loved in life in one package. Completely loving. Completely loved. And totally unattainable. Not his. Never be his. It was rare that he even got a hug now, because Sean was scared to death of what might come of it. But even with the seemingly insurmountable emotional barriers between them, Sean was somehow, today, more lovable and desirable than ever before.

Elijah looked at him. At his open, loving face. At the goodness that poured out of his eyes. He felt his heart crack wide open with love for Sean. And he felt his heart break with the pain of knowing he was forever denied the thing he loved most. He lowered his eyes quickly, but not before Sean saw the feelings he was trying to hide.

“Tell me!” he insisted, leaning his forehead against Elijah’s.

“I can’t.” Elijah said quietly.

“You HAVE to!” Sean told him.

Elijah sighed. “Do you know how completely adorable you look in that ditzy, fuzzy sweater and that silly baseball cap?” he asked Sean. “How totally lovable you look?”

Sean shook his head, clearly puzzled. “Uh . . . well, thanks, baby. But what does that have to do with what’s wrong with you?”

Elijah didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. “Jesus!” he spouted. “That IS what’s wrong with me, you jerk!”

For a long moment there was silence. Then . . .

“Damn.” Sean said softly. He tightened his arms around Elijah for a long moment, then leaned back to look at him again. “Don’t be sad, Baby.” He murmured, moving his hands gently across Elijah’s back. “I’m here.”

“Yeah?” Elijah said sadly. “For how long?”

Sean was silent. He rested his head on Elijah’s forearm but said nothing.

Elijah felt as though an emotional dam had burst inside him. This was the first time they’d been this close since that one night when they became lovers, and Elijah was astounded at the ferocity of his feelings.

“Do you know,” Elijah said to him in a hoarse whisper, “how hard it is to be in love with someone and have to watch night after night while they drive off to go be with someone else? To sleep with their arms around someone else?” He pushed Sean’s head up, off his arm, trying to fight back tears. “Do you KNOW?”

“Lijah.” Sean said softly. “Please don’t.”

“Oh?” Elijah said, really crying now. “Now it’s ‘please don’t’. What happened to: ‘please tell me, baby, we’ll work it out together’? What happened to: ‘let me make it better’?”

“Elijah that’s not fair.”

“FUCK fair!” Elijah spouted. “Fair?” He dropped his head to his knees again and for a long moment just cried. He felt Sean’s fingers stroke his hair to comfort him and reached up to bat them away. “Stop that! You want to talk about FAIR? Stop that!”

He raised tear filled eyes to Sean and stammered at him. “I TOLD you to go! I told you to leave. Didn’t I? I did! But DID you? No. You had to stay and sit there looking like . . . looking like . . . THAT. Driving me insane. You had to stay and yammer at me about how you’d make everything OK. But can you? WILL you?”

Sean sighed, and watched Elijah as he talked. More than anything on Earth he wanted to take Elijah in his arms and kiss away every bit of the pain and grief he saw etched onto his face. His arms literally ached to hold him. This was the first time they’d really talked this way since . . . that one night . . . and Sean realized that a lot of very strong feelings had been building up inside both of them. But he didn’t move and he didn’t speak. He was afraid to do either.

“Let's talk about FAIR.” Elijah said to him. He had controlled his tears, but his voice was heavy with sorrow. “How FAIR is it that my love for you is wrong, and dirty, and worthless, but hers is right and clean, and noble? Am I a bad person, Sean? Do I treat you worse than she does? Do I love you less? Why is it always ME who is wrong and HER who is right? Aren’t *I* ever right, Sean? Doesn’t MY love for you ever deserve your . . . your . . . love back?”

Sean couldn’t stand anymore. Even though Elijah’s words rang truthfully in his ears, Sean couldn’t listen. He abruptly stood up. “Lijah, I have to go. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I can’t stay here. If I do . . . “ his words trailed off.

“Yeah.” Elijah said dryly. “Go home, Sean. God forbid you dirty your hands on Elijah.”

He heard Sean's breath catch in a gasp, almost a sob, at Elijah's last comment. His fingers which had been stroked Elijah’s hair, clenched in it instead, as if he were responding to sudden pain. Then he was gone.

Elijah tried to control his trembling. He lit a cigarette and stared off at the moon-drenched mountains, hating himself for what he’d done. He hadn’t meant to say so much. Had NEVER meant to talk to Sean that way. But once the feelings began to pour out of him, he couldn’t stop.

He remembered things he'd said to Sean and momentarily wished he were dead. He’d apologize tomorrow for being so mean spirited. Apologize and promise never to act this way again. But the damage was done.

He wanted to cry. To sob his heart out. “I have to go home.” He said to himself. He was determined not to let the fellowship see him this way. He’d just walk around the corner to his own house. Once there, he could cry all night and no one would hear. Or see. Or care.

He ground the cigarette out and had started to stand up when he heard a familiar step coming toward him. There was no other on Earth who moved like that, and Elijah slumped back to the deck and ducked his head, feeling lost and totally worthless.

He heard Sean stop in front of him but refused to look up and meet his eyes. It was getting hard to breathe again.

“I’m sorry.” Elijah said softly. He figured he’d better get it out before he started crying again and couldn’t talk.

He felt Sean lower himself down until he was sitting on his heels with his face right in front of Elijah’s. “Look at me.” He whispered. Elijah shook his head. “I can’t, Sean. I truly can’t. Please just forgive me and go home.”

“I can’t go home.” Sean said, his own voice shaking.

“Why?” Elijah asked him.

“I’m not sure.” Sean said. “I was in the car. Key in the ignition. But . . . I couldn’t turn it.”

Elijah peeked up at him shyly, afraid of what he might see. Anger maybe? Disgust? But, no. He saw the Hug-Puppy smiling at him.

“Crazy, huh?” Sean said softly. “Just couldn’t turn the fucking key. Now why IS that, do you suppose?”

Elijah shook his head. “I don’t know.” He said, feeling confused. “Did you use the wrong key, maybe?”

Sean laughed softly and put his hands on either side of Elijah’s face. “Yeah.” He whispered. “I used the wrong key alright.”

Unexpectedly, Elijah’s breath disappeared. Completely disappeared. Nothing was left except a deep, dark, ache that slowly consumed him while Sean’s mouth moved just as slowly against his lips. “Oh.” Elijah thought, gasping and breathless. “Oh, I don’t care. I don’t want to breathe. I just want HIM to breathe. Him.”

He leaned into Sean’s kiss, feeling his mouth open, hearing his throat moan. Elijah was melting. His whole body was dissolving. He was sure there’d be nothing left of him. But he didn’t care about that either. Sean would be there. Sean would find him. Sean would find him even if he melted into nothingness. Sean would find whatever was left of him, and Sean would hold Elijah in his hands, and Elijah wouldn’t be lost anymore.

Sean was talking. Elijah tried to hear even though the roaring in his ears made it hard.

“. . . rry, baby. I’m so sorry. I was wrong. I was so wrong to make you think you didn’t matter. You matter more than anything. More than anyone.”

Then Elijah was held close and he felt the Hug-Puppy sweater against his face. And Sean’s kisses were falling onto his face, his eyes, his hair. His own arms were around Sean’s neck, clinging to him. He heard his voice, babbling: ‘. . . thought you were gone. I was so sorry but you were gone and I couldn’t tell you and I wanted to die because I talked to you so meanly. But . . . but . . . but . . . “ he looked up at Sean.

“Did you lose your keys?”

Sean laughed and pulled him close. “Let’s go to your house.” He suggested, nuzzling Elijah’s neck.

“My house?” Elijah murmured. “My house.” He blindly reached for Sean’s face and pulled him forward into his kiss. Why was Sean talking about his house? Why was Sean talking at all?

Elijah kissed him. Then kissed him again. He was so terribly empty. He had been so terribly empty for a long time. And now Sean’s kisses were filling that lonely place inside him. It was so exquisite, this feeling of Sean’s kisses filling that empty, lonely place inside him, so exquisite and at the same time, so painful, that Elijah didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. He clung to Sean’s face inhaling his breath, doing neither, but whispering Sean’s name as though it was the only word that could explain how he felt.

Sean tried to pet Elijah. Tried to calm him. But Elijah was nearly unreachable. Sean held him close, rocking him gently, kissing his hair. Letting him take from Sean whatever he needed to take. And eventually Elijah’s hold on his face relaxed. Finally Sean leaned back a bit. “Let’s go to your house.” He said again.

Elijah sighed and smiled up at him. “And just what do you want at MY house?” He said, softly.

“What do YOU want?” Sean asked, teasing right back.

“Me?” Elijah said, leaning back to look at him. Adorable. Still totally adorable. “I keep thinking if I look long enough you won’t be quite so adorable but it never happens.” He kissed Sean gently. “What do *I* want?” He kissed him again. “I want to make love with you while you’re wearing your Hug-Puppy outfit.”

“Hug-Puppy!” Sean said, pulling Elijah to his feet. “What the hell is a “Hug-Puppy?”

Elijah grabbed his hand. “Come with me.” He said, yanking on Sean. They walked quickly around the corner to Elijah’s house and through his front door. Elijah dragged Sean into the bedroom and stood him in front of his dresser’s full-length mirror. Then he hit the light.

“THAT!” he said, pointing at Sean’s reflection. “That is a Hug-Puppy!”

Sean burst out laughing and wheeled to grab Elijah in a huge hug. He buried his face in Elijah’s neck, lifting him off his feet, still laughing helplessly. “Hug-puppy.” He choked. “Hug-puppy. Oh, my god, Elijah. That’s fucking priceless. I’m a Hug-Puppy.”

Elijah steered him backward, pushing Sean toward his bed. He was laughing too, but he wasn’t letting this chance get away. God only knew when he might have another. He felt Sean’s legs hit the side of his bed and pushed, dropping beside Sean on the bed as he fell.

Sean hugged him tight, still laughing. Then he looked around, as if surprised. “Hey.” He said, cocking an eyebrow at Elijah. “How did we get HERE?” He pointed at the bed. “Hmmm, Elijah?” He shook his head in very faked suspicion.

“Sure, sure.” Elijah said, smoothing his hair and smiling. ‘YOU’RE the one, as I recall, who ASKED to come here.”

“Well, YEAH.” Sean said, leaning on his elbow to look down at Elijah. “To your HOUSE. Yeah. But I just wanted to . . . to . . . watch TV.”

Elijah rolled his eyes and Sean laughed again.

“Now what was it you said YOU wanted to do again?” He asked, pulling Elijah close to him.

Elijah buried his face in the sweater, snuggling as close as he could get. He thought for a long time, and then he looked up at Sean. “Just stay with me.” He whispered. “Just don’t leave me tonight. Stay here and talk with me and hold me.”

Sean leaned down and brushed his lips against Elijah’s cheek. Brushed them back and forth against his cheek over and over again. “No, no. Oh, no.” He said in a silly singsong voice. “That’s not what Lijah said. No, no. Lijah lies.”

“Sean,” Elijah said quietly. “I don’t want you leaving here tomorrow hating either one of us. I couldn’t bear that.”

Sean kept kissing Elijah’s cheek. “Well, aren’t YOU sweet.” He said, moving his kiss to the corner of Elijah’s mouth.

Elijah whimpered softly. God, he loved it when Sean kissed him there! “You better stop that.” He whispered.

“Yeah?” Sean whispered back. “Oh. OK.” He pulled Elijah against his body and kissed him. His mouth was soft and gentle against Elijah’s lips. For Sean this entire night was like returning to paradise. It had been a long time, and the memory of their lovemaking had begun to fade a bit. Looking at Elijah always brought the memory rushing back, but it didn’t linger quite as long. Now, he had those lips back against his again and in the length of one heartbeat his body quaked with desire.

He heard the same old refrain echo in his mind and heart: “Mine. Mine. Mine.” The desire to possess overwhelmed him. His eyes were closed and he was drowning in need. Nothing could make him take his lips away from this kiss.

He caught Elijah’s lower lip in his teeth, gently nibbling him. But that wasn't enough. He had to have Elijah's mouth. The lips that had tormented him for months before he ever knew how they felt or tasted still had him under their spell. He captured his mouth, kissing him again and again. First softly, then with unthinking force, then gently again, barely touching him, then deeply, gently seeking with his tongue.

Feeling totally undone, Sean licked Elijah's mouth like a kitten drinking milk, moaning his name. He was filled with astonishment. Stunned by it. “How, in God’s name, have I lived *without* this?” He wondered. It didn’t seem possible that he’d ever be able to live without it again.

The thought made him whimper and he felt Elijah's arms tighten around him as if in comfort. He didn't really understand yet what had made Elijah feel the way he felt today. He wasn't sure why his emotions had overflowed the way they did after months of relative silence. But he was grateful.

He leaned away from Elijah's kiss for a moment to look down at him. His eyes were shining and Sean wasn't sure whether it was from tears or happiness, but Elijah was smiling and he was willing to let that be his answer for now. His hands stroked Sean's brow and face, caressing him gently as though he were afraid Sean might break under his fingers. "He makes me feel cherished." Sean thought. "He always has."

"Baby, baby." Sean whispered to him. Turning to kiss the fingers that were gently touching his face and trailing across his lips. He caught Elijah's hands in his and leaned forward to kiss him again, sighing as though he were returning to a haven that he'd been craving for years rather than mere seconds.

Elijah clung to his mouth as though he could never get enough. His tongue gently swept across Sean's lips and then stroked his tongue in long, swirling caress. Both of them suckled each other's mouth with an almost desperate hunger. Long months of waiting had left them feeling starved for the taste of each other and they devoured with ravenous passion.

Sean pulled on the bottom of Elijah's shirt, trying to lift it over his head. "Elijah." He moaned. "Help me."

Elijah clutched Sean's neck, not understanding what he wanted, thinking he was pulling away. "No. No. No." he whimpered.

Sean kissed him gently again. "No, baby. It's OK. I just want to take these clothes off. Elijah!" He caught Elijah's face in his hands and forced him to listen. "Let me take your shirt off." Sean whispered practically into his mouth.

Once he had pulled Elijah's shirt off he moved as though to raise his sweater over his head and Elijah moaned and grabbed him. "Oh, no, no, Sean." He pulled his hands away. "Please leave it on. Please."

Sean was burning with anguished desire. He longed to feel Elijah's body against his and Elijah's request made him whimper. "Lijah, please let me take it off. Just for awhile. I'll put it back on for you later." He leaned forward and kissed him with breathless impatience. "Please, baby! I need to feel you against me. You. Your body. Your skin. Please, Lijah."

Elijah grabbed the hem of Sean’s ‘Hug-Puppy’ sweater and pulled it over his head. Then he threw his arms around Sean’s neck and pulled him close, pressing their bodies together. A hungering, whimpering cry was wrenched from Sean's throat when their bodies touched and, hearing it, Elijah nearly sobbed. He arched against Sean, his breath coming in shallow pants.

Almost at once Sean pulled away. He was tearing at the snap of Elijah’s jeans and doing a rather poor job of trying to undo it. Elijah reached down to do it for him and then lifted up so Sean could take them off. Just as quickly, Sean took off the rest of his clothes. Then he leaned back over Elijah again, pulling him close.

Elijah arched against Sean’s body with abandon, longing for him with every fiber of his being. To Elijah, it had been a million years since he’d been in Sean’s embrace, and the pleasure he felt from this moment was almost more than he could endure. “Sean.” he said in an anguished whispered. “Sean, I love you. Please know how much I love you. Please know how much I’ve missed you.”

Sean kissed him again and again. “Oh, Lijah.” He murmured. “My sweet Lijah. I do know. I do.” He thrust his body against Elijah’s, feeling Elijah’s rigid erection push against his own rock hard cock. He had wanted to make this last. Spend hours teasing Elijah’s body. Tasting it. Give him more pleasure than he’d ever felt before. But the movement of their bodies straining against each other was almost enough to make Sean come. He fought for control but knew he couldn’t last much longer.

“Lijah.” He gasped. “Baby.” He caught Elijah’s face in his hands and held his head still so that he could stare into those extraordinary blue eyes. “I love you.” He whispered, between ecstatic kisses. “I love you.” Elijah’s hands reached up and covered Sean’s as they rested against his face. They stared into each other’s eyes. Elijah lifted his hips to meet Sean’s thrusting body. “Oh, Sean.” he gasped. “Now. Now, Sean. Please now. Please don’t stop.”

Sean ground his body into Elijah’s and watched as the blue eyes beneath his slowly darkened to black and widened impossibly as though he were in agony. Then they slammed shut as Elijah’s body jerked and twisted violently in rapture. Moments later Sean felt his body explode in a burst of ecstasy.

For a long, long time they clung to each other, sucking in gasping breaths of air as spasms of delight continued to rocket through them. Slowly their bodies quieted, and Sean took his weight off Elijah. His head found it’s way to Elijah’s shoulder where he nestled happily while Elijah stroked his hair, murmuring his name.

Suddenly Elijah sat up, seeming to reach around. Sean lifted his head, wanting his soft shoulder-pillow back and wondering what Elijah was doing. Then Sean heard him say: ‘Ah, THERE you are.” He lay back down with Sean’s sweater in his hands. “I have no idea where your hat got to.” He murmured, settling Sean’s head back on his shoulder.

“You want me to put it back on?” Sean asked him pointing at the sweater and hoping the answer was ‘No.”

“No.” Elijah said. “I like this better.” His hands trailed softly over Sean’s chest and arm.

“Mmmm.” Sean moaned gently, loving his touch. “Me too.”

After a moment, he stirred again. “And,” he sat up slightly and reached underneath him. “Here’s the hat. I was laying on it.” Elijah took it and stuffed it back onto Sean’s head hearing him laugh softly.

“Seanie?”

“Yeah?”

“What made you come back tonight?”

Sean thought for a moment then he lifted his head and looked at Elijah. Lowering it again he kissed Elijah’s shoulder softly. “What you said about it always being you who’s wrong and her that’s right.” He shook his head. “I couldn’t bear it that you actually believed that. That you actually believed that I felt your love was wrong and worthless. It nearly killed me to hear you say that. Killed me that I'd treated you in a way that left you thinking that.”

“And,” Sean said with a sigh, “I wanted you, Elijah. I wanted you so fucking much that I couldn’t turn the key in the ignition and drive away. Absolutely couldn’t. Tried to. Several times. But couldn’t.”

Elijah’s breath caught in his throat. “And just so you know,” he said, catching Elijah’s chin in his hand, forcing him to look into Sean’s eyes. “I am NOT driving off to go be with someone else, unless you count Ally. And I’m not sleeping with my arms around someone else. Not. Not. Not. A lot of nights I end up falling asleep in the den. And even when I don’t, no one is sleeping in anyone’s arms.” He sighed. “Especially lately. So don’t go thinking like that.”

“I shouldn’t have said those things.” Elijah said sadly. “It’s not my business. I was way out of line, Sean. I’m sorry.”

“Stop.” Sean said, shaking his head. “Just stop.” He pulled Elijah’s head into the crook of his arm and leaned forward to kiss him. “Neither one of us can have it both ways.” He whispered to Elijah. “If you want to be with me the way you were with me tonight, then you can’t say that telling me the truth of your heart is out of line.”

Elijah smiled up at him. “And,” Sean continued, “I can’t make it blatantly clear to you that I want and need your love, and then expect you to think it’s OK when I’m afraid to give you mine.”

“At least not when you’re wandering around looking like a ‘Hug-Puppy.” Elijah said with a smile, holding the ‘Hug-Puppy’ sweater against his body.

“Well,” Sean said with a grin. “When we see the FOX special, we’ll have some pleasant memories to think back on, huh?”

Elijah laughed and wrapped his arms around Sean’s neck. “Yeah.” He whispered. “They should re-title it: “Quest for the Hug-Puppy” because that’s what this day was for ME.”

They snuggled into each other’s arms and slept, with the ‘Hug-Puppy’ sweater nestled between them in Elijah’s arms.

 

 _Present day._

Elijah woke up slowly, feeling chills flowing over his entire body. He had fallen asleep watching the movie and Sean had just now awakened him by blowing soft breath on the back of his neck. “Mmmm.” Elijah murmured. “So nice. Are we ready for bed then?”

“I know I am.” Sean whispered to him. “The sight of you in that ‘Hug-Puppy’ sweater is driving me insane.” Elijah glanced up at him and saw him wink. “Well I sure know THAT feeling!” he said, laughing. “Come on, baby. I don’t want to torment you.”

Laughing, they wandered to their bedroom. And not long afterward the ‘Hug-Puppy’ sweater was nestled in Elijah’s arms between them while they snuggled together in sleep.


End file.
